Today is Sunday November 13th. I go back to work December 5th. I go back to work in 22 days.
22 days. That’s 534.5 hours from this moment to the moment when I clock in for the first time since going on Maternity Leave.
As much as I am looking forward to returning to work, as much as I am looking forward to doing a job I love with people I enjoy, its not enough time! I need more time!
I need more time to wake up with my baby and have our conversations without worrying about making sure we’re ready and out the door on time.
I need more days in which we can just lay down on the couch with a blanket and snuggle.
I need more hours in which I can look upon her and find all the ways she’s grown.
I need more minutes in which to marvel at every new discovery she makes.
I need more seconds so I can be there to celebrate with her every “first”.
I need more time!
I never thought I would be one of those people that would want to be a stay at home mom, I never thought I would be one of those people that would enjoy being a stay at home mom, but I was wrong. I would love to be a stay at home mom, just so I could spend my days with her, watching her change, watching her grow, watching her learn. Its the most beautiful thing in the world to me.
Every time I see her do something for the first time I get a thrill of excitement.
Every time I notice a change in her I am overwhelmed.
Every time she does something for the first time, like looking at an object and grabbing at it, I can’t help but just watch her in wonder.
In 22 days I return to work, and I will be acutely aware of all the time I am missing with her, but I will also cherish every moment that I do have with her when I come home from work, and on the weekends. I will eagerly come home to see how she’s changed or what she can do that she couldn’t do that morning. I won’t be happy until I can hold her in my arms and make her smile.
I will never have enough time with her, but knowing that makes the time I will have with her that much more precious. It makes me appreciative that I have this time with her now, to just enjoy being with her. To just enjoy being a Mom.