Everything Will Be Ok…..this is what I tell myself when I look at her sleeping in my arms. Her eyes closed, face relaxed, I hold her against my breast and just watch her breathe. She sighs softly, the sigh of innocence, of naivety. The sigh of a child who knows that when she opens her eyes, you will be there.
Everything Will Be Ok…..this is what I tell her when she looks at me, her eyes trusting me completely. There is no reason thus far for her to feel anything but safe, loved, content, and I hope that this doesn’t change.
Everything Will Be Ok….this is what I tell my parents when they call me to see how we’re doing. Do I have food, money for bills? Am I getting sleep? Am I getting help? They worry about me, about Rachel, about us.
Everything Will Be Ok….This is what I tell friends and family when they inquire as to whether or not the baby’s Daddy is helping. I watch them when they are together and I honestly assure them that he is helping, he loves his little girl. He will always be there for her. I listen to their sighs of relief, knowing that they will ask me again, always expecting a different answer.
Everything Will Be Ok….this is what I tell myself when I meet my own eyes in the mirror. This is what I tell myself in the morning when I wake, and when as I drift off to sleep at night. This is what I tell myself every minute of every day, and have been since she was born. What do my eyes tell you?